When most people picture therapy, they imagine lying on a couch while a therapist nods seriously and asks: “how does that make you feel?”
It’s an image that’s both outdated and misleading. While exploring feelings is important, therapy is far richer, more creative and more collaborative than this stereotype suggests. One of the reasons for this is the growth of integrative therapy, an approach that adapts to the individual instead of forcing everyone into the same model.
What is integrative therapy?
Integrative therapy is simply blending different therapeutic approaches to suit each client’s unique needs. Rather than sticking to one rigid model, it allows a therapist to draw from a variety of theories and techniques.
I’ll be honest… before I started my training, I didn’t really understand the differences between therapeutic approaches. When I looked for a therapist myself, I mainly focused on price and location. Looking back, I now realise why I clicked with some therapists more than others. It wasn’t always about the person, it was the approach they used.
Now, as a therapist, I see how crucial this flexibility is. Often, a client may naturally suit one approach, but what makes therapy powerful is knowing when to weave in other modalities as their needs shift.
“Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. What works for one person may not work for another, and what works today may not work tomorrow.”
My foundation: Person-centred therapy
I was trained in integrative therapy, but at my core I lean strongly towards a Person-centred approach. That means I place emphasis on the relationship itself: building trust, offering empathy, being authentic and holding clients with unconditional positive regard.
But I also recognise that therapy often needs more than one lens. In practice, this means I wouldn’t expect a client to share their entire childhood history in the very first session, I recognise it takes time to build trust. But by sessions three or four, if that trust is there, exploring those areas might be what helps us make sense of what’s happening in the present.
“I see the client as the expert in their own life, not me.”
Other approaches I weave in
Alongside person-centred foundations, I draw from several other modalities when they can benefit a client. Here are some of the approaches I use and what they mean in everyday terms:
- Psychodynamic therapy– exploring how past experiences (often from childhood) and unconscious patterns influence present-day struggles. For example, recognising how early attachment experiences shape relationships today.
- Inner child work– helping clients connect with and heal the younger parts of themselves that may carry unmet needs or old wounds. This can be deeply powerful in reducing shame and building self-compassion.
- Existential therapy– this isn’t as heavy as it sounds. It’s about exploring the big questions we all face; meaning, freedom, responsibility and choice and how these shape our daily struggles. Questions like “What is my purpose in life?”often arise in times of transition, loss or change.
- Creative approaches– using tools beyond words, such as journaling, imagery or drawing. These can give expression to feelings that are hard to articulate, opening up new ways of understanding ourselves.
Why flexibility matters in therapy
For me, flexibility is what makes therapy powerful. Healing isn’t linear… our needs shift as we grow, face challenges or process trauma. What works one day might not work the next.
That’s why being able to adapt is so important. Therapy is not “one-size-fits-all.” What resonates for one client might not resonate for another and even within the same client, what’s needed in week one may be very different from what’s needed in week ten. Integrative therapy allows us to keep responding to those shifts.
“Integrative therapy is about flexibility, meeting you where you are and adapting as your needs change.”
Breaking the “and how does that make you feel?” stereotype
So, is therapy really just about being asked “how does that make you feel?” Absolutely not. But I do sometimes ask clients how something made them feel. Ignoring feelings altogether would mean assuming (from my own experience) how something impacted them. But this is only a tiny part of the process.
The real work lies in:
- Understanding the meaning behind those feelings.
- Exploring patterns that keep people stuck.
- Offering compassion, insight and the possibility for change.
Clients often say to me: “I don’t just want to be asked how I feel, I need change.” And I completely agree. Therapy is about more than talking, it’s about discovery, pattern-breaking and creating space for genuine change.
Yes, I’ll ask about your feelings, but that’s just the doorway into deeper exploration: understanding yourself, recognising the patterns holding you back and finding new ways forward.
“Asking ‘how do you feel?’ is just the starting point, not the whole journey.”
The evidence: why this matters
- NICE guidelinesin the UK recommend a range of therapies for anxiety and depression. This highlights that there isn’t one “gold standard”, different approaches work for different people.
- Research shows that the quality of the therapeutic relationshipis one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes, often more important than the specific modality used. An integrative approach supports this by adapting to the client and strengthening the relationship.
Takeaway: therapy should be as unique as you are
Therapy isn’t about fitting you into a model. It’s about meeting you as a whole person, understanding what you need and adapting along the way.
That’s the beauty of an integrative approach: it reflects the reality that people are unique, ever-changing and capable of growth.
Further resources
If you’d like to explore therapy and its stereotypes further; with added humour, emotional moments and detailed insights into boundaries, a great read is Joshua Fletcher’s And How Does That Make You Feel? It’s a refreshingly honest take on therapy from a therapist’s perspective and an ideal resource for clients, trainee therapists or and qualified therapists alike.
