I love everything about Christmas, but I also carry a lot of guilt around taking time off work and I know I’m not alone in feeling this.”
Christmas is often painted as a time of joy, connection and festive magic. Personally, I love it for all of those reasons. Yet, for a lot of people, this season brings a mixture of emotions: joy and pressure, comfort and loneliness, rest and unrest. As much as I love everything about Christmas, I still carry a lot of guilt about taking time off work, navigating time with family and friends and trying to stay present when I’m feeling overwhelmed. And I know I’m not alone in that. While it should be a “cheerful” time, many of us find that our mental health doesn’t quite match the sparkle.
3 in 10 Brits say their mental health ‘nosedives’ over Christmas, largely due to money worries, hosting or entertaining and keeping up appearances.”
Why Christmas can actually put pressure on Mental Health
- Financial stress & pressure
- Gifts, food, decorations and events. The costs mount up and often fast.
- According to a poll by Mental Health UK, 3 in 10 Brits say their mental health “nosedives” over Christmas, largely because of money worries, hosting or entertaining and keeping up appearances.
- The holiday period can intensify anxiety about debt or financial instability.
- Loneliness and feeling isolated, even among others
- It might seem ironic, but many feel lonelier during Christmas than at other times. One survey by Open Mental Health found that 77% of people felt lonely or isolated at Christmas, even if they were surrounded by others.
- Another poll by MAC Clinical Research shows that a quarter of people say Christmas has a negative impact on their mental health.
- For some groups, like those unemployed, divorced or particularly vulnerable, the sense of loneliness or disconnection can feel especially sharp.
- Pressure to “be merry” & social expectations
- The “Instagram‑perfect Christmas” or social pressure to enjoy every moment can make you feel like you’re doing it wrong if you’re not glowing with joy. That alone adds shame, guilt or self-judgment.
- For people with underlying mental-health challenges, this can amplify anxiety, depression or feelings of inadequacy.
- Seasonal / environmental triggers
- Shorter days, colder weather, low sunlight: these can trigger or worsen Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which makes the winter months especially hard.
- The change in routine: less structure, disrupted sleep, more indulgence, also affects mood, energy and self-care habits.
- Grief, loss & difficult memories
- For many people, Christmas highlights what’s missing: loved ones we’ve lost, relationships changed or a past that feels distant.
- It can be a time when old wounds open up, which makes feelings of sadness, grief and longing more intense.
It’s the idea of being indulgent that I struggle with, even though I know it’s important to take breaks and reset every so often.”
My take
Everyone who knows me well knows how much I genuinely love Christmas. I start playing Christmas music from 1st November and my decorations are up a couple of weeks later. Yet feeling guilty is a strong emotion and I really notice it when I step away from my clients. When I switch off or take time for myself it feels indulgent and I struggle with that, even though I know it’s important to take breaks and reset every so often.
I think that tension between joy and guilt, peace and pressure, is more common than we talk about. It’s OK to relish the season, while also giving yourself permission to feel whatever you feel, even if it’s not deemed as festive or traditional.
What to do if Christmas feels hard: Realistic self‑care ideas
Here are some practical ways to support your mental health over the holidays:
- Set boundaries: You don’t have to do everything. It’s okay to say no, limit spending or skip an event if it drains you.
- Pre‑plan for emotional check-ins: Know what you need: quiet time, rest, clarity. Schedule it in and stick to it.
- Limit social comparison: Social media can amplify FOMO or perfectionism. Maybe reduce your time scrolling, mute triggering accounts or choose what to believe carefully.
- Budget realistically: Gift thoughtfully and acknowledge that doing/giving more doesn’t always mean loving more.
- Reach out / connect in genuine ways: Volunteer, connect with friends, join a support group or call someone if you feel lonely.
- Prioritise rest and routine: Even if your schedule feels chaotic, try to keep sleep, meals and movement stable. Light exposure helps if you’re dealing with SAD.
- Be kind to yourself: Remind yourself it’s okay to feel both joy and discomfort. Mixed emotions don’t have to be solved. Sometimes, they just need space to process.
Final thoughts
Christmas is complicated. For many of us, it carries both nostalgia and expectation, peace and chaos. If Christmas brings up harder feelings, that doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It means you’re human, with real needs and real limits.
If you love Christmas, claim it. If you struggle in this season, notice it, name it and treat it with compassion. This time of year can be an opportunity for honest reflection, slowing down and kindness, not just to others, but also to yourself.
